Lawn Mowing, Slaps & Giggles
The first house I rented all by myself had a tiny little L-shaped lawn with a giant Magnolia Tree in the front and a sad little Crepe Myrtle at the side. I was new in town, from Arizona where grass only grows if you bring in sod, water it constantly and mow it once a month or so.
Well, I was in for a treat! It grew so long here it needed cutting once a week. I didn’t know better being equally young, stupid and a desert-rat so I hired the cutest couple of college guys to come mow my lawn for $20 a week. They had walk behind mowers and tan, tight bodies with bleachy hair. I was 23, then. Not much older then they were. Still I felt like a cradle robber! Delish!
I was pretty poor back then and as it turned out that $20 dollars a week nearly bankrupted me. Looking back I should have asked to borrow a neighbors mower and offered to mow theirs for free just to use theirs and put that money in the bank. Did I tell you I was young, stupid and grew up where grass doesn’t grow? Okay. Just so you know.
So not having a dime left to my name I turned to my lawn mower-guys for entertainment. Each Thursday after work they would arrive at my yard, sweaty and shirtless. I would never miss the show. It was like going to the movies, except it took about 15 minutes. Not even time to enjoy the popcorn. But the bows of the Magnolia swung low and there was plenty of tan lined, booty cheek tops to see each time they passed under. I never did get around to trimming up that Magnolia. * wink* Men in work boots. Need I say more?
I had one lawn chair pitched out on the porch, and pitcher of ice tea ( because it was cheap!) and I would sit back and watch. They knew I was a vulture and they were the roadkill. It made it all the more fun! Once I took pictures with no film in my camera. Why? Because I am a sick girl and wanted to see what they would do. They posed! LOL! …and me with no film. Unfair. I took plenty of pictures anyway!
Of course my work friends thought I was the worst! LOL! Every Thursday they would come up with last minute stuff for me to do. I would politely tell them. “I am sorry, but I have to be home by 5:30. I am getting my lawn mowed, can I check your payroll tomorrow?” They would just smile and say how urgent it was.
“Jodiann’s getting her Lawn Mowed” would send all the girls into fits of laughter.
I would blast through the payroll check or the “whatever” was SO important that it could not wait until morning while they gasped for air, because they were so funny they couldn’t breathe. Then fire up my little Subaru “Johnny” and drive home with vengeance in my soul and tailgating on my mind! Thank Goodness for living in small town America. If the train going through town doesn’t slow you down everything is 5 minutes away.
Well one particular Thursday afternoon I was running very late and the girls were twittering as usual as I grabbed my stuff and ran for it! I got across the bridge, past the park and was just crossing in front of the hospital when I saw the flashing lights.
The Cops! The Heat! The Fuzz!
I thought about making a run for it, I was like 3 blocks from home and I could just imaging the work boots, dirty jeans and biceps They were probably done mowing under the Magnolia, Dang it! They can arrest me afterwards. I’ll go quietly. I thought rebelliously as I, a broken woman, pulled into the hospital parking lot. Beaten down by The MAN. There is no justice!
The Smokie saunters up to the side of my little Johnny ( named for the song “ Johnny B. Good” since I would sing that song to him each time to be sure he would start for me. He had a tricky ignition switch.) and asked for the license, reg, and proof of insurance, you know the drill. Well, he took one look at my license and smiled the biggest mustachio-ed smile.
“Aren’t you supposed to be getting your Lawn Mowed?”
“Ur, Ah, Um, …as a matter of fact…” Blushing to the hair line as I remember one of the girls at work is married to a policeman.
“Well then git!”
No further encouragement needed I slam it into first gear and leave him standing there. He even swatted Johnny’s backside with his hat as we pulled clear. Officer Pranky was laughing so hard he had to lean back at the waist to get ALL the chuckles out! That is what I saw as I burned around the corner to home. I still remember that to this day!
I love small town America!
I love troopers with mustaches!
I love twittering girlfriends!
I love men who smell like cut grass and don’t wear shirts!
“America, America, God shed his grace on thee…”
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My Clear Cover Styles just went off sale today. They are $4.50 now and still a great value at that with all you can do with them. My Get Bent Metal Styles are still 34% off for a few more days. Click the pictures to buy.
Thank you kindly, Sweethearts!
$4.50
Still $ 2.95
Shannon of Desert Designs sent me a note today, she used these Metal Styles to make a lovely card. I am SO touched. The first time this has ever happened to me. It feels great! Whoo HOO! Shannon used my stu-uff! Yipppeee!!
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Happy October!
Posted: October 2nd, 2009 under Ramblings.
Tags: johnny, lawn, mowing, shannon
Comments
Comment from Veelana
October 3, 2009 at 11:08 pm
Thas was hillarious! Thank you so much, you had me in fits of giggles, my three year old son was looking at me like his mom got crazy…
I’ve got to check back on this blog, I love personal stories!
Comment from admin
October 4, 2009 at 1:37 am
Thank you kindly Ladies! Its is just fun to write these little tidbits down but even more fun to know there is someone out there howling with laughter or having fits of giggles. I mean when your 3 year old is giving you the stink eye?
SWEET!!!
LOL!
Comment from Di @ Legacy4Life
October 3, 2009 at 8:50 am
Oh Jo – you truly are a breath of fresh air. Whenever I need time out, I come and read your blog. Without fail I am howling with laughter by the time I am finished.
Thank you for your frankness and love of life.
Di